Script problems

Hello again,
I know that is has been a while since my last post, but i just have to say that there has been a revelation during the filming process. No it is not another medical discovery, i cant have one every week. We were sued! Isn't that surprising well anyway the script was entirely taken from a Dr. Phil transcript. So anyway we fired the writers and now i am writing everything myself. I guess the writers just saw Dr. in his name and assumed that he was like me. He kind of is though, in a way. Anyway the movie should be up before the end of july. Thank you for your patience.
Dr. Vonstrochenment

Culinary Discovery

During my filming of the video, one of the crew members went into a coma. i tried to revive him but it was to hard (and i didn't like him that much). So my production crew went to china to find new camera cleaner. We found a new person but I made a shocking discovery. I discovered that pandas are very high in calories. With this new discovery i can solve the obesity crisis forever. I also discovered that pandas go great with garlic bread.

Insomnia Solution

I know that i already posted a solution to insomnia but i have another. This is only for extreme cases of insomnia where the subject has already been awake for at least 10 days. First you must soak you're entire face in my insomnia cream ($59.14 a tube with tax). You must do this for an hour for it to start taking affect. While the cream is soaking into your brain, you must aim a laser concentrated with essence of sleep. For this laser to take effect you must have it go through your entire body. My recommendation is to aim it through your foot all the way to your head. If this fails to work then congratulations you are in the 0.658% of people who do not require sleep.

Video Update

Thank you for being very patient with the video.  I know that it is taking a while, but it is on schedule.  We just had a few payroll problems.

Medical Response

Your problem is fairly common these days Jeremy.   I get this question all the time.  Fortunately in a recent trip to my lab i created a cream that is to be applied directly to the eyes.  The cream will force the eyelids shut to make you sleep.  I can sell you this cream at the low price of $59.14 (with tax of 12.7% tax).  Apply to the eyes 15 minutes before you go to bed.

Video

Well after several weeks of voting and countless recounts the votes are finally in.  And the winner is How to remove your tonsils at home.  I will record this video and put it in another post.

Medical Response

Hello again,

For your punctuation deficiency i would recommend that you have someone put thoughts of punctuation into your head while you are unconscious.  To do this you will need a partner and a hammer.  Other items work but the hammer is the most efficient.  Have your partner hit you in the head with the back of the hammer.  then you will be unconscious and will be able to hear messages and obey them.  Have your partner then say random sentences with stress on the punctuation.  For example " the dog went on the neighbors lawn period."  try this method for a few weeks and then if that doesn't work then you have my invitation to continue getting hit in the head with a hammer repeatedly can't be that bad for you.